Wednesday, November 27, 2013

From the Fellas:Turn-offs When Dating (Part 1)

When I started this blog I vowed that it wouldn't be all about man hating.  I don't hate men, in fact, I adore them!  Sure, I go through phases where I have had a bad experience and I want to swear off dating, but that normally only lasts a few days...or hours.  For the most part, men are much easier to understand than women.  I think the issue we face, as females, is we over think everything men do and say.  With that in mind I asked a few of my guy friends what turns them off when dating a female.  Here are some of their thoughts.  (This will be done in more than one post, so stayed tuned).

I was so surprised how many of my guy friends were more than willing to discuss this topic.  They rambled and poured their hearts out without the slightest hesitation.  My question to them was simple: "What are your top three turn-offs when you have been on 3-5 dates with a female?"  Sure, some focused on sex, but I didn't want to discuss that this time around (I will address that particular topic at a different time). 

The number one thing most of the guys told me was they were turned off by a woman who can't take a compliment.  I was taken aback by this turn-off because I didn't understand how that was possible.  Thankfully they gave me examples:

Scenario 1
Guy: You look beautiful tonight.
Girl: No I don't.  (Shy smile)

When I asked why this was a turn-off they responded with two answers.  (1) Guys see this as a woman fishing for more compliments.  (2)  It shows a lack of confidence, which is unattractive to both sexes.

Scenario 2
Guy: You look great in red!
Girl: Thanks.  I like your shirt.

According to the men, the giving a compliment in return is empty.  It sounds like we feel obligated to say something because we can't just accept the compliment.  My friends all stated they preferred the following...

Best Scenario
Guy: You look great!
Girl: Thank you. (Genuine smile)

Done.  Nothing more.  Just take the compliment. Don't disagree with them and don't give them the obligatory compliment in return.  I realize this might be a difficult habit to break because we do this with each other all the time.  How many times has one of your friends said you looked nice and you disagreed with them?  How many times has one of your friends admired your bag or shoes and you feel the need to find something about their attire to compliment?  Ladies, we need to break this habit with all of our relationships.  Take the damn compliment and say thank you!

*I want my lovely readers to actually read these posts therefore I didn't want to make this a long post, so please check back for more of the top three turn-offs from the fellas*


  1. Excellent! It's hard to just accept compliments and I think women are trained to deflect them or be seen as too prideful.

  2. I agree. We are often taught to down play any compliment we receive no matter who gives it to us. Recently, a couple of our male friends complimented me and I simply said, "Thank you." That is what started this discussion. I had no idea it was an issue because I never noticed it. We just accept the down play.